Betrayed by the Angel

While reading this article it really hit me that some people are raised so differently and so oppressed by "how women should be" that it is almost scary. Debra Anne Davis was so afraid to stand up to men that she endured what no one ever should, from a young age of getting gabbed with a pencil, to not such a young age and being raped. It almost makes me angry that someone could have such little back bone to stop these things, and to not even think that the person was deserving of punishment for their actions. I was raised completely different, someone tries to hurt me, you don't stand for that. I truly feel for her in how much pain and confusion she must have had to go through with everything in her life, no one should have to deal with that and I think that parents should teach their children young that simple fact. Injuring another person is never okay, it may have been far more accepted in the past for men to dominate women but we are in the 20th century now and there is no tolerance, everyone should know and accept it. I am glad that Debra finally "grew some balls" and was able to be rude at times, even if she doesn't exactly know when to be and when not to, but things take time to master and I believe she is strong and will make it.

We all stuffed our faces

I hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving. Since it is a rather big deal in our country I figured I should have a post about it and how my family responds to everything. I go to two houses for every holiday, my step family and then my dads side, and both are extremely different. My step family is far more traditional with the roles that everyone plays. My Grandma does allllll of the cooking, no one is allowed in the kitchen unless they are over the age of 13, a girl, and putting something quickly away. All of the guys stay in a stupor in the living room watching football until the call is sounded to go pray before they can load up on the potatoes and turkey. When it is time to clean it is yet again all of the women, my Aunts get all the leftovers into containers and do the dishes while the men fall asleep. These traditions are even known to the younger ones in the family, all the girls are taught young to find little ways to help with the food or cleaning while all the boys are told to stay outside and out of the way. Now my dads side is a bit different, and I like this way far more. When I was younger everyone would gather at my grandparents and my grandma would do most of the cooking, my grandpa helping in what she couldn't carry or reach. Everyone tried to help, including my uncles, my grandma is just to stubborn to accept help. When it was time to clean everyone was in there at some point, no one got out of doing something. Now we all go to my Uncles house, my aunt does most of the food preparation the day before, and once we are all there it is my uncle in the kitchen doing the finishing touches and yet again everyone cleans. I personal prefer my dads side method better because everyone should have to pitch in, the women are not any more special at cooking and cleaning and the men should recognize that.

maid to order

I found this article rather interesting and funny at parts. It never occurred to me really how big of an issue cleaning could be in households, or how maids must feel. Getting down on your hands and knees to clean a floor is sometimes a must, yes, but I don't think it should be a constant, and a never if you feel like you are nothing and would need to 'crawl under that table and start gnawing away at her ankles' to be noticed for your work. The feminine mystique was rather degrading too, not entering men into the cleaning equation, and saying women should be able to keep up the home even if they are working, like it is our duty, psh. Everyone should be taught from a young age how to take care of a home, themselves, not to order a maid about. The essential skills gained from cleaning and keeping a house in order will help anyone in their future, it teaches the actual skills, responsibility, and respect because you know how difficult it can be. The upper classes are kinda ruining these things because they are relying so heavily on maid companies to do all of their housework, and then their children grow to think that is the only way. It is providing jobs I must say, but it is ruining our society. I can imagine that it is getting more and more difficult to keep up with everything in the house since more people are out and about, and house size is increasing all the time. But if you manage your time, and have everyone pitch in (not just mom) then it wouldn't be so difficult.

hey I would marry a feminist...male form

The article "Who Wants to Marry a Feminist" was rather empowering. The struggles she went through are things that make sense for a stereotypical mind set of feminist woman, but how she moves past it all is amazing. It is rather annoying that a reader of her articles was angry that she was marrying, if you are for woman power it doesn't make sense to be against marriage because that is one more place that we have worked so hard to gain our rights. It is nice that she managed to find a guy who is willing to accept her views, and not be a prick but actually pitch in around the house. I can relate a lot to her things her family said, like her grandfather being worried about the food. My family asks all the time who is cleaning or cooking and at times will tsk at me when I say it is my boyfriend. The tax person was another annoying factor of this. If it had happened to me I would have told them that I am not just a spouse, she is the one making more money, and should have equal rights on the paper. Her view on marriage is something that everyone in my opinion should feel, its about the emotions and companionship, well yea sex too, but its not because thats what was expected or whats the norm, which was nice to finally see one of the authors be positive about marriage. Over all though I liked this article because she seemed happy about her choices and life even though there are people who don't understand.

Ok really now, dating is just to complicated

So, I went on a date this weekend, and realized that there are so many things that go into this whole first date dealio and I don't get why. You get super nervous even though you already know the person somewhat, you freak out about what to wear, then heaven knows all the little stupid rules and guidelines you try to go by. I have no idea what to be doing half the time, if I should be telling him certain things, if I should let him kiss me, I am more worried about what's right then having a good time! Well I gave up on worrying about an hour into it and just said okay, if I am going to do this I am going to do it my way. So I just was myself, and I did what felt right to me. But I still wonder why we have so many things of what is right and wrong in societies eyes, and why even though I don't believe in them I still find myself trying to follow them. Sex is a no no, kissing should be perfect and not right away, you get into a relationship when you think you could be with that person for a long time. I grew up just knowing these things, but now its more and more difficult to follow them. I am not saying I am going out and whoring myself about or anything, but really now I am trying to have fun and get to know people, I don't like how everything still tries to keep everything down. This is probably a huge random post but somehow it does make sense to me. But yup, that was my confusing weekend of dating, but hey, I won and got the guy.

Hey now marriage isn't so bad!

While reading Marriage and Love all I could feel was the author resenting the idea of marriage and how it is "forced" upon us. She is saying how love does not always go with marriage, but I think it is apart of marriage more than she seems to think. There are different kinds of love so it is hugely possible that it is apart of marriage. You can have the passionate love that often does lead to marriage, or the friendship love that can happen after marriage. Often in arranged marriages the two people don't see or talk to each other before the marriage, but more often than not they do find love together through the marriage. Also, marriage is not forced on girls when we are little. Yes it is all around us, and most people do say that is the goal to life, but its not like everyone is saying we will die unless we get married. It seems that the author is stuck in the past and I just didn't like or agree with this article.

Lets just get this all out there

While reading the article all about "the big O" I couldn't help but sit there and laugh, yet agree. We all have these grand ideas in our heads for sex while we are virgins, we hear many things, read and see many things. But how many of us actually experience anything like any of those? I am not gonna get into my sex life with you all don't worry but it just really made me wonder why there are so many stories that psych us out for things, we should just wait and it probably would be better anyways.
On another note, halloween is soon coming, the proof is not only on the calendar but that my entire floor smells of pumpkins. I don't have anything else to say about work, I am done there now, didn't have to work for the last weekend because I have been so sick. But I have noticed plenty of things on facebook and just walking around campus. It seems that not as many girls as I thought are going to be slutty this year, which is surprising, but good (we don't need to see all that). Also, I have seen a lot of men out there taking more risks.
One last note, it is breast cancer awareness month, so I thought it should be brought up because it is something that has or will affect us all. Here is some more all about what we can do!

you show me yours I will show you mine

As I began to read Prue Shows Her Knickers all I could feel was sympathy for this girl who has to go through so much torment pretty much from the people around her, and I had no idea how it related to this section. Towards the middle when the dare came up it made so much more sense. I think everyone as a child goes through the whole giggling with your little guy or girl friends about their "special parts" and I am sure most of us did the whole you show me yours I will show you mine. Well this is exactly what Prue and Andy decided on, but I think theirs turned out sweeter than most. It was nice how they ended, not awkwardly, but showing they like each other, and both responded with a lot of respect for each other it seemed. They probably weren't as young as most of us were when we went through this but it is still a big deal to show off your "knickers" to someone else, so I am proud of how they acted with each other. Well thats my take on this.

I will be heard

I was reading My Fight for Birth Control in our book and the story really touched me. The thought that women were that desperate to not have another child that they would subject themselves to such unsafe abortion methods instead of ignoring their neighbors and using birth control. I was nearly crying in the end when the mother died, and I was slightly angry that the nurse didn't keep her word and go back to talk to the woman about birth control. I understand that it is the time when it was not acceptable but the nurse could have saved that woman's life. Birth control is something that I would recommend to most women, even if it isn't just for the prevention of pregnancy. I went on birth control years before I was sexual active because it helped with my over all body. Condoms are another thing, they may be a hassle, but they are simple and effective. I am glad that we live in a time where woman can choose to use these things, and most men agree with them (we hope) so that we can all be that much safer. So to end slightly similar to the article, I will be heard, and now I am being heard.

I think I got this

Ok, so I am finally working on my paper proposal since I am awake. I have decided to use the movie Ever After with Drew Barrymore. I think this movie really shows a different attitude towards women because it is set in the time were there was absolutely no women's rights, but yet some of the women got power and rights in other ways. I haven't looked to in depth for which readings I am going to use as support but a lot of the different main topics seem to connect well to my ideas. The monarchy system that England was using at the time goes well with the system of privilege and inequality in women's lives unit. How the "evil stepmother" uses her womenly charms to get the power she craves should tie into sex, power, and intimacy, but I am not sure yet I need to check that out more. The entire movie deals with family issues, the royal family, the diverse step family, trying to mix the families; so this obviously deals with the family systems, family lives section. Those are my main ideas so far, if I can get enough ideas for violence against the women than I may include that. But if any of you have seen this movie and want to contribute some ideas I would much appreciate it because I can't write to save my life :)

This whole paper deal

I have been looking over the paper criteria and thinking and thinking, I still can't think up a good topic. I have a few possible movies and books but I can't seem to find a connection. I am sure that in time something will suddenly hit me, but I was just wondering if anyone else was as off as I am? We only have a few days till our proposals are due, and I know I have been really busy, and I have mono apparently so I have been sleeping a lot. I am gonna be super random and talk about myself, I have been sick, really sick, I am home right now sleeping like 17 hours a day. I am still going to be able to go to classes I just have to be careful with my interactions with people until I feel completely better. But anyways back to the actual topic at hand, this paper is hopefully going to be a ton easier once my topic really hits me, I suck at writing formal paper type things so yup lets see what happens. I hope everyone has a good weekend.

I love my fat self

So obviously if you have ever seen me I am not a size 6, or anywhere near there, and I have accepted that I never will be, and really wouldn't want to be. The article "love your fat self" by Courtney E. Martin caught my eye right away when looking over the readings for this week, and I had to read it first just to see what she had to say. The fact that "fat" has become such a terrible thing, Mary Pipher even compared it to leprosy, now that is just getting to far. How did we go from Marilyn Monroe (Who today would have been right near plus sized) being one of the hottest women, to how things are now "I would rather die than be fat". Fat is the majority people so get over it and just love yourselves. I am going to make this personal, so beware. I have been obese my entire life, no matter what I do I have stayed the same. Coming to college finally got me to accept that, I am fat, and I love myself. My friends always tell me "oh you're not fat" you know how people try to be nice, but ya know what, I am, and I know it, I never once have said that fat is a bad thing. I hope someday we can go back to everybody is beautiful, and stop with this gross discrimination.

"I've been dreaming of a true loves kiss..."

So, I don't know about yall but I actually like this movie, of course it has the whole silly girl and love story, but the moral of true love still catches my heart every time. Every little girl, and boy I am sure at some point, wants to find their true love, and get that absolute happiness that just seems so perfect. As a child I of course always thought I would magically find my prince charming and everything would be ok. Growing up of course changed things as I found out a lot of guys are pretty much douches. But, these movies still give me hope, hope that one day I will find someone that will dance with me and sing into my ear so that I know he loves me. I know its all super cheesy, and yes a lot of the parts of the movie are really funny and we all have to laugh, but I still like it, and the entire idea of true love.

This picture wins

I felt that this picture needed to be shared after all of the pictures we went through today!

Oh princesses

So starts the best unit of all (yes sarcasm), we all know my take on princesses since my whole work experience, and if you weren't paying attention while I ranted in class, well I am extremely sick of princesses and there is far to much shit about them right now. Now I know I am being really harsh and truly I have no vendetta against princesses, I like them too, I am a sucker for the disney movies, and finding my prince charming. But it is all so over done, and so much money is put into it now that it is a market, no longer a dream and fairy tail. On the note of princesses being a market now, it completely ties into one of our readings for this week, "A Finishing School for All, Disney style" by Laura M. Holson. Reading this I was both in awe and disgusted. As a child I am sure this would have been one of the things I would have begged my dad to bring me to, get to be a princess literally for a day, get a tiara, learn all the fancy stuff. But now being older and seeing the prices for this "experience" I am seeing how much the disney corporation is different compared to my thoughts as a child. You always want to think that all the movies that we grew up on were something to dream for, something to wish that you could have and just the happy thoughts. But now disney is making this all about the money, no longer about the children's dreams, and I suppose the adults who grew up with it too. Holson even said that going to do this finishing school ordeal can get pricey, there is no looking around it, this is not an experience to live for, its a hassle on a check book. So if we all want to be princesses for a day, I say we get out the construction paper and glue, and google up some etiquette tips; and we go the old fashion, cheap, and fun way.

Hip Hop

I was reading the article "If women Ran Hip Hop" on pg. 534 and I was really intrigued. The format was completely different which kept my interest, the topic kept my interest too of course. I like how it is in the song format, as if it were a hip hop song, playing on the title. A lot of what the author was saying seemed stereotypical of woman though, for instance pretty baskets, females dressing sexy and random other things. But I do agree with a lot of the things, they would be nice to have out in the world, having counselors available, on-site child care, and detox centers. I would think that these things should be possible with a male running Hip Hop and I don't see why the author says that its woman who will bring about this change, it would take everyone. So I guess my feelings about this article are very mixed, it has a good message, but also a lot of sexual stereotypes and negativity towards males somewhat.

On a complete side note, my mission for work has been semi-completed. Yesterday I had a gentleman come up to me very excited to tell me what his costume was. He is going to be a flapper girl for halloween, and even showed me a picture; dress, wig, stocking and high heals included. So thank you random flapper man for making this holiday a bit more diverse.

Work so far

Well someone commented saying I should keep up with the next month and work, so I guess thats what the first blog of the week will be about since I am slacking and haven't read the articles yet (long night ahead of me with that). But anyways, I made it through my first week of work. A lot of the time I was just helping to get the store set up so I got to see almost all of the product, and halloween has grown so much since I was little, there are so many more options, and just it was amazing. I was surprised by a few costumers with some random comments which made the time a bit more interesting. We have a part of the store called the picture wall where all of the "riskier" female costumes are kept, and I had a few men actually ask if there was anything like that for men (which there isn't). I was hoping a male would ask me if he could try on one of those costumes despite the gender difference, but that didn't happen......yet. I had one guy, must have been in his early 20's ask me if he could try on a penguin costume. Penguins being my absolute favorite thing ever I thought I had found my soul mate. But then he decides to also ask me "If I wear this to a bar, do you think I will get any?" I was crushed to say the least and had to just giggle and walk away...typical male in my book, and I know I am stereotyping but oh well. Well I guess that is what I really felt was interesting from the work experience so far, more to come I am sure. Now I am off to do our reading, see you all tomorrow!

Halloween

I am starting a new job tomorrow at Halloween city in Appleton, and it has really made me think about costumes. I am excited to see all the little children come in and get excited about picking out there costumes and seeing how cute they are. But I am also excited to see how many people actually stick with the norms, how many people I can pick out what section they will go to, and how many people will try to be different. I want at least one guy to ask to try on one of our playboy costumes, a girl to try on some ridiculous male thing. I have a feeling that most people will stick to their gender noted costumes though, which is a slight disappointment, but it will be interesting to see if my hopes do come true.
On another note, an amazing book series that everyone should check out if you enjoy reading is The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. One of the main characters is an amazing female who goes against traditions and is on a whole new level.
Annnndddddddd one last random note for the day, here is an interesting website that I came across randomly believe it or not, it is all about women's issues and a lot of things in the news that we may have no otherwise known about so I suggest you check it out even if just briefly. I am interesting, click me!

Birdcage

While reading for tomorrows class one part in chapter 2 "systems of privilege and inequality in women's lives" really caught my eye. On page 65 in the institutions section it is discussed how a birdcage is much like a birdcage, one bar you can get around, but the meshing of all the bars traps us inside. This really made me think, because it is so true, since there are so many "bars" around us we are trapped inside the cage of oppression. The little door to let us out may be open at times, but chances are we will be trapped again and put back in. The cage of oppression is such a part of our lives we don't even realize it sometimes, we stay in our little area watching the world around us through the bars not knowing that there is more space outside of the cage. We never will know what is outside of our institutions "the cage" until we try to escape, and hope that we don't just smack into the cold metal and stay trapped. The meshing of the bars can be compared to how the different oppressions fit together a lot of times. Women are oppressed, so are minorities, if you are a female minority, your bars are meshing making it even more difficult for you to escape. 
This reading also made me think of a poem by Maya Angelou, who happens to be my favorite poet, the poem is 'I know why the caged bird sings'
here's the poem



But anyways, those are my random thoughts, and I am sure reading this you will think wow this is super random, but that's how my mind works. I hope at least one person was able to keep pace with me.